Pandemic Life Observer Gifts

Modern Exhibitionism

Reading in the Pandemic

"Johnson, I need you to stop hanging around and gossiping at the sanitizer station."

Happy Boss's Day

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

'Long shift?'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

Life and Death

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

"I'm writing to mother to let her know how you're doing.Is deathbed one word or two?"

'I'm his best friend, until his wife walks in.'

Covid Vaccines

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

'Now watch carefully. You can learn from my mistakes.'

Highway of Life. No, Ernie, we're on cruise control. It just seems like we're going faster the further we go.

"Half-dressed Covid pizza special."

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

S&P 500

OLD COMEDY vs. NEW COMEDY

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

"You're not old. You just have more leeway to scold strangers, and their kids, and feel good about it."

A vicar looks at his in tray and out tray containing a newborn baby and a coffin

Superspreader

"In local news, 'Hapless Husband Trapped in Loveless Marriage.'"

God and the Devil play poker

Hearse on an emergency

Would You like Some Coronavirus with Your Wealth?