Pandemic Etiquette Enthusiast Pillows

Elbow bump

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Social Distancing Club

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"Poop outside and he saves it in a bag. Crap on the carpet and he loses his mind."

"I don't know where you get this 4 metres from I was lead to believe social distancing was 2 metres!!"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"Rats."

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

Illustrated Encyclopedia of Infectious Diseases

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"Is your dog friendly?!"

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

Preschools for Dogs

"Still too close."

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

"New Year's Eve just isn't the same anymore!"

'I told you never to Facebook, Bebo, Hotmail, Yahoo, MSN or phone me at work...'

Widow advising a man that men often owe their success to the beauty and social charm of their wife.

Would it be rude if I didn't follow them all back?

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

A guest departing a party.

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

"Your body, your choice."

Home Stay Home

Covid Back to School

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"You'd better make that 10 feet."

"How would you like me to answer that question? As a member of my ethnic group, educational class, income group, or religious category?"

'Just because you happen to turn into a wolf during a full moon, dear, doesn't mean you have to act like one!'

2020 Social Distancing