Palette Jokester Mugs

Monet At Open Mic Night

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Trash-talkin' artists

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'