Painting Pontificator T-Shirts

' Isn't it great the way the eyes follow you around the room?'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Artist and Musician

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

This one's mixed media--- I had jelly on my hands while finger-painting.

A Christmas tree self portrait

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

Man getting hot looking at picture of desert.

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

"This was his real breakthrough piece."

Little girl imitating a painting in an art gallery

A Night In the Art Gallery

"Big deal! My digital picture frame can hold a thousand pictures!"

Two New Paintbrushes

Eugene Delacroix

"This artist's very successful. And he's not even dead."

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

"The last doggy bag."

'Beret Night at the Museum'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Jesus Christo

"Tee hee. . . Turner Prize here I come. . .!"

Artist painting a dancer.

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

"It's almost as if you can get lost in it, Timmy. Timmy?"

Man: 'Hey WOW, it's true! Her eyes DO follow you around the room!'

"He had help. There were architecture specialists, costume specialists, angel specialists..."

'It was one of the great notes and was played by Beethoven and Lennon.'

"I love what you do with low-hanging fruit!"

Picasso's learning years.

ACCOUNTANT-IN-RESIDENCE: "John, we're going to have to cut back on the cadmiums."