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'And do you, grand marshal Froomkin, promise to always love a parade?'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

Simon Owl - That hoot was ghastly!

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Miss America IQ pageant.

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

Beauty contest

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

7th annual weird fishes pageant

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

Doris always made a big impact in the swimwear section of the beauty contest

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

Uncle Tom

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

Beauty Contest

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