Pageant Win Mugs

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Circus Pageant

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Model's aspirations

Beauty contest

Miss America IQ pageant.

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

Beauty Contest

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

7th annual weird fishes pageant

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

Uncle Tom

Meet Miss Subways