Pagan Enthusiast Pillows

'May those who ridicule our pagan beliefs, now suffer the wrath of the god of hissy-fits.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Giant Monster in Bath

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

"What did Jesus order?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

Praying mantis.

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

The Raven in Flight

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

Trilby - 'Ca fera une fameuse crapule de moins'

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

Catholic-Protestant Debates. . .

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."