Packed Train Survivalists Pillows

Commuting with Sardinetrack - 'Coo, don't they pack us in?'

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Packed like sardines

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

A white collar cow.

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

When travelling with her cat by plane, train, or bus, dawn always ensured no one would bother them.

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

"We've got a problem."

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

In and Out tray filled with messages in bottles on a manned desk on a desert Island

"It's a letter from my boss. He says he's not paying me for the time I've been stranded on this island."

Commuter doing some gardening on the train

"Now do you believe me?"

'Stop! Wait 'til he finishes cleaning my teeth!'

Nativity Scene on the Underground

'Are you sure this is just a mirage we're crawling through?'

Man on desert island with a sail attached to two coconut trees.

Commuter reads book entitled: Commuters for Dummies.

'I've invented a device for making people late for work.'

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

"Hard day at the train station dear?"

Relativity explained; the woman on the train will always appear more attractive than the woman on the platform.

I survived end of the world after party.

"Valhalla."

Former Survivalist