Own Children T-Shirts

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

I like the Jets...I guess

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Wildlife

Santa Claus's Mail

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'I'm not sure which one is the role model.'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Look, a bug!"

"And this is our media room."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"That'll be five bucks."

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

SALE

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Mom probably wouldn't buy us one, but you have to learn to make your own choices, Dad."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Raised by Dogs