Overwhelmed Browser Gifts

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Obsession with the Internet.

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

State U. He procrastinated and is now trying to do all the work for his middle English literature class in a couple of days. "Canterburied," is he?!

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

I work and work and never get ahead

'You weren't here to say no.'

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

Paper aeroplane: 'Get on with your work.'

Work Life Balance Paperwork

"When you said this job was a breeze, I thought you mean easy."

"Lord, who or what is strewing my path to success with obstacles!"

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

'I was given a ton of great career advice when I graduated from college. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it because my entire brain is filled with passwords and PIN numbers.'

'It wouldn't work out, Evan. I'm Microsoft Internet explorer, and you're Google web browser.'

'We let viewers skip our ads in 15 seconds because by that time we've already collected all the browsing data we need!'

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

'I'm having a day when I can't catch up!'

"A lot of homework?"

'Feeling a bit full my lot are packed in like commuters on the Northern line.'

www.sadbastard.com

VP in charge of computer manuals.

"So....Anyone not sure they can cope with this?"

"Well, aren't you an eager beaver."

'You can't take away my life, I haven't had one yet.'

"Digital skid row"

'Start your search engines!'