Overachieving Parent Gifts

'How do you expect to compete with the Japanese if you don't learn to walk?'

Overjumpers

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

Genius Envy

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

'They're a very successful family.'

Too big to fail

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'No ulcers shows me you haven't reached your full potential.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

'That's your report card and might I add you need to try a little harder.'

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

Ladder of success"...Perhaps, you'd like our economy model."

Be A Doctor

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"You promised to stop bringing your work home."

"This has been a productive homework session!"

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

Office Task Map

'Ten 'A's? Frankly son, I'm disappointed that you're not more of a disappointment to me.'

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

"He's two onths old and already drooling at a four-month-old level."

"Lord, who or what is strewing my path to success with obstacles!"

"Your internship is finally over. You're now required to work longer hours with no extra pay."

"On the other hand, Timmy. Fear of failure has kept daddy from ever being seriously injured."

"I can't believe it...a 'B' average on my report card? I'm not that smart! The theories of probability predict it's likely that the school's data system somehow encountered a catastrophic breakdown."