Outdoor Tinkerer Pillows

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Labour saving, my foot! I've spent all morning trying to get it started!'

'Another DIY enthusiast methinks...'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Sale! Weed Whackers

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

Congratulations on your retirement!

Waiting for retirement.

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Guide to Carpentry Fish

CLEAR!

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

Three different categories of lawnmower.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"Okay guys you have your assignments. Let's get cracking!"

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'Workmate' bench helping DIY man "Left a bit"

Lazy plumber.