Outdoor Dining Critic Pillows

"That! That's why I don't like Alfresco dining!"

'More damn cookies, soda pop and hot dogs!!! Doesn't anyone around here eat healthy.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The fish sticks here are very good."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Your lobster was off!

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Holiday Supplies

'It's my favorite.'

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

"Careful. That house has a taser."

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Your meal sounded nice."

Prosecco Peacock

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground