Organizational Analyst Gifts

'Who vetted that leader?'

'Let's start with an x-ray of your organisation culture.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

'As you know, Wilson, our CEO screwed up big time, so he was fired and gets a big bonus. But because of his mistakes, you just get fired.'

'Here's the plan. We acknowledge a minor management problem or two, then get busy on a major cover-up.'

"It's unfortunate that we have to cut back on frontline workers, but what else can we do?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

Let's get organized

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Light Bulb Moment

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Morning, all!"

The Life of Pi

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time Is Money

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

Organization is not rocket science!

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'