Organ Transplant Recovery Gifts

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

'I guess the transplant went ok - I just got a love letter from my new liver!'

'Doc, I think I need more of those anti-rejection pills. I'm still having a problem getting dates.'

'Your organ transplant has hit the all the right notes,Mr.Watkins!'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"Maybe I needed a brain also! I left my heart in San Francisco!"

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'I've just realised where we went wron...g'

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

New life (organ donation)

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

'I don't know who I am. I have a donor heart, a donor kidney, a donor liver,a donor cornea, a donor lung...'

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

'Now dear, it may be Thanksgiving, but stop referring to your aunt's gallbladder as a giblet.'

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'Bad news, pastor. The only donation we've gotten so far is a Wurlitzer from the orchestra.'

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"The good news is, I got religion!"

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'