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"Oh, good. Here comes Daddy, to bring us to our senses."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'Great to see the ol' museum is finally getting a face-lift.' An old building getting a medical face-lift

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

Future Candidates For "Colorization"

Under New Mismanagement

'They did a great job in restoring all the 19th century details, but this confounded dress code...'

Continental marshal

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

Cleaner cleaning up the paintings in a gallery.

"I told you she'd had some work done."

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

Leaning Tower of Pisa

"It's just a hunch, but you may have the power set too high on your pressure washer."

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

Painting Mona Lisa.

The Death of Chatterton - After Restoration

Dept. of Antiquities

Statue Restoration.

Straightening up.

"She's a rescue."

Jesus returns: Acmy Employment Agency: 'I do have experience as a carpenter, but that was 2000 yeras ago.'

'I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm giving you a ticket for not speeding, but driving too slow.'