Orchestra Lover Gifts

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

"I wonder if they noticed I missed out the second movement?"

Piccolo player wanted, must play well with others.

Johannes Brahms

The London School of Infectious Diseases Isolation Chamber Orchestra.

Maestro!

Camille Saint-Saens

Quartet in the snow.

A Drummer: 'Bom, Boom, Boom.'

Quartet.

'You play Schubert beautifully. Sadly the rest of us are playing Beethoven...'

Maestro

Cell Partners

"One of the perks we used to entice her here as CEO."

Top-Echelon Shakeup: Zubin Mehta to Chrysler, Lee Iacocca to the Philharmonic

Mozart Clarinet

Songbird Conductor.

Musician

'Nothing like some tea and symphony.'

'No, they weren't very good but you can't help feeling sorry for them.'

"What does it all mean? I'm conducting Brahms' third, they're playing Beethoven's fourth, and it doesn't seem to matter."

Aleksandr Glazunov

Holst and the Planet Suite.

Did you know Mozart died young to avoid muzak?

Blind violiner

Brass Band.

Mikhail Glinka.

'Hey baby, how'd ya like to spend a night on Bald Mountain?'

Sir Edward Elgar

Conductor and waterfall

Ennio Morricone

Franz Joseph Haydn for Music of the Baroque