Oral Hygiene Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Tell me if this hurts."

17th Annual East-West Dental Convention

'He certainly put it in terms I can understand. He gave me a D minus.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

You have the worst spring breath.

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Car wash / Mouth wash

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Yes, use an electric toothbrush but you still have to floss."

"Phew! Your breath. What have you been eating?"

Floss Street Vendor

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

'I'm so glad to hear that your teeth are falling out too, Manfred - I thought it was my mom's cooking!'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

"Damn these super powers!"

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

Adam was determined to have a nice, white smile for his big date that night.

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'