Optimistic Pitcher Gifts

'Trust me, Harold. I'm getting better every day. I can do this. You're not still angry about yesterday, are you, Harold?'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

Man propelled by love

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'Come and get it!'

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'Here is my proposal for making our department more productive. The proposal contains my best cognitive distortions.'

So close... Yet so far.

"I still thinking he's putting something unidentified on the ball."

'Balk!'

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

Ahhh, spring baseball.

'Say, wasn't that the bluebird of happiness?'

'There is not a thing that medical science can do for you. Have you tried 'wishful thinking'?'

Baseball manager shows pitcher complicated charts.

"Idiot! I signaled for a sinker!"

Unemployment Office. Apply Here. What type of hourly waage were you thinking about? The pro-baseball type!

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

Tommy John Surgery.

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd played catch with me more.'

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

The rotator cuff fairy.

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

"I lost everything-the business, the house, the landscape."

'Kenny! Stop...We're over here!'

"I'm sorry but Mr. Berrell is in Port St. Lucie trying out for the Mets."