Optimistic Friend T-Shirts

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Six Thinking Hats

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"I think I can". (train)

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

'Being angry about shovelling snow will only make it harder for you, daddy...you need to just accept the snow...instead of thinking of it as a chore, you hate, make friends with it.'

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

"I just think things will work out for the best, and by the best I mean me."

"Don't judge me until you've walked a mile on my medication."

Shall I be mother?

Pollyanna, the Hamster

"Today stocks rose on the news that 'down' is a temporary state of mind."

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

"Someday our robots will have all our anxieties for us."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

Flower growing from a bomb.

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"He's not gay, but he's often gay-adjacent."

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

Man replaces tank sign with deer sign

"Look on the bright side, you never know what's round the corner."

Ahhh, spring baseball.

'Say, wasn't that the bluebird of happiness?'

"It's amazing how far you can go with a positive attitude."

Happiness

'The key is not to take yourself too seriously: You have to be able to laugh at yourself...'

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

1986 is my year