Optical Health T-Shirts

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

"You have a left distal prismatic distortion with a cylindrical f1 of -0.25,double astigmatism and a right eye spherical axis bias - in short Mr Wormold,you're as blind as a bat."

I wasn't counting on you having been to the opticians!

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

What the Doctor Ordered

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Your contents have shifted."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol