Opinion Survey Enthusiast Pillows

'Which candidate do you hate least?'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

Opinion Dislodgement Disorder (ODD).

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

Like Minded

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

"I don't have any opinions, and my wife things whatever Oprah thinks,."

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

'I know I was just here yesterday, but the courts ordered a recount.'

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

Election Time

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

'Did you cut your lip shaving, or are you trying to avoid offering an opinion on the Affordable Health Care bill?'

Dropping Popularity of Obama.

'Our poll shows the typical voter is all polled out.'

Surveying.

"The latest poll numbers must be out."

'That was the view of the right side of my brain...now the view from the left side...'

It isn't just the media that's biased...often the voters are too.

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

"Let's explore our opinions."

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'