Operation Room Humorist T-Shirts

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"WHich one is mine?"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Downloading Pregnancy

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

"Gross."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare