Opening First Bank Account Gifts

"I'd like to open a new account and transfer some funds."

British savings accounts

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

Spot the difference.

"What's a debenture?"

Build Your Own Portfolio

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

E.U. Banking Union.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

European currency on the edge.

A Day In The Kitchen

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Money Bar.

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"I don't like the look of this."

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away