Opening A Furniture Shop T-Shirts

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Important Food Groups

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Check out this new store."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

Nick Offerman

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

Blackjack: free lemonade!

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

Naked Furniture

Introverted Chair

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

Irritable dowel syndrome

Capt. Ahab's landlocked brother Morab, searching for the white elephant.

'I hate to let you go, Walker, but these Ottoman prices have really come down.'

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."

"If you haven't got a TV, what do you point your furniture at?"

Bob's DIY Store

Why some marriages work

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

"I see you've got a new cheese counter."