Opening A Bar Pillows

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

"Our organic booze is doing well."

Free-Range Wild Turkey.

'I'm sorry, but this is not my usual.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

"This is our soft opening."

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Shaken not stirred

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Garlic Free Zone.

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

The Snooze Bar.

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

You said you wanted beer with hops !

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Local food for local consumption

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

American style Greek cafe.

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."