Open Mic Night Fan Prints

"This next song is also called AWHOOOOO."

Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm gla

Zombie standup

hard-boiled egg...

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

'Have you been working out?'

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

Running out of Gas.

Gangster's To-Do List

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

Open mike night presents: Rudy Park. You done left me alone … Cut out when I needed you most. How brightly we'd have shone … had you not given up the ghost. I done loved you baby. Now I just feel so bad-n-used. I'm a-goin' crazy … I got me the laptop low-battery life blues. That portable never loved you, honey child!

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

FedRex

Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: Changing Seasons. Does life affirm with coming fall? Leaved hit the ground, men huddle. Smashing each other over a ball. Wrestling around in a puddle. Huh? In this potpourri of hulky sights, one image is hardly the least, sir. So many changes, so many nights ... to see Eli Manning's keister. The bard of NY Giants football. Beautiful. Disgusting.

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

'I've only got two numbers to go on the bingo!'

Laugh Laff. If laughter is the best medicine, this guy's a placebo.

Terry Wogan

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

Vents, real and digital.

"When you said you liked nothing better than to curl up with a good book..."

'John's animal impressions are particularly good. He not only does the sounds, he does the smells as well!'

"And now, our newest hit song..."

3...2...1...I'm Recording

Admiral Lord Nelson practiced mindfulness techniques daily to reduce his stress levels. He found an hour of 'naval gazing' worked wonders.

Pot Needles

WPC

'My latest invention -- the daisy wheel!'

'Dat was jus' a warnin', Detective Jones. Get off da Bozo case!'

'Did you notice they seemed in a great hurry to see the back of us tonight?'