Open Mic Comedienne Pillows

"Yes I know Dear. Tiger Woods is playing here today!"

Zombie standup

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

Dance of the sugar plum tax attorneys.

"I hate open-mike night."

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

Football Delivery

Open mike night presents: Rudy Park. You done left me alone … Cut out when I needed you most. How brightly we'd have shone … had you not given up the ghost. I done loved you baby. Now I just feel so bad-n-used. I'm a-goin' crazy … I got me the laptop low-battery life blues. That portable never loved you, honey child!

Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: Changing Seasons. Does life affirm with coming fall? Leaved hit the ground, men huddle. Smashing each other over a ball. Wrestling around in a puddle. Huh? In this potpourri of hulky sights, one image is hardly the least, sir. So many changes, so many nights ... to see Eli Manning's keister. The bard of NY Giants football. Beautiful. Disgusting.

Laugh Laff. If laughter is the best medicine, this guy's a placebo.

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

"I got connections. We'll pull a few strings, get you out of here in no time"

'Whoa! Time out. The loud guy in the white shirt is right - that was a ball. My mistake. Sorry everyone. Thank you, sir.'

Choir wearing masks.

"Here's another depressing song about me."

'For one can we have something other than pellets for dinner?!'

'I heard he was funny.'

"It's rose, not pink...Because Jesus rose from the dead. He didn't pink from it."

Cat looking up fish recipes.

'Narcissus goes courting'

'Did you notice they seemed in a great hurry to see the back of us tonight?'

'Egrets, I've had a few. . .'

'Was it an Indian elephant or an African elephant?'

"We've found that patients are more truthful when it's open mic night."

The Poetry Stylings of Rudy Park

Hipster Charm Offensive

Singer.

"Tonight, ladies and gentlemen - I'm going to sing a few numbers... Seventeeeen... Eighty-niiiine... Two hundred and twenty-foooooour..."

" 'Over there, over there...' "

Acting School.

"Must you look at your phone when I'm talking to you?"

'That gnome with have to go, Edith!'