Online Scene Observer Pillows

'Man... how I hate these pop-up's!'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

A man looks up at the earth

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

'Not...one...drop.'

The successful rubbernecker...

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

Abstraction and recognition

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"A lot of voter's will be floating today."

Oculist.

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

Hurdles with Steps

Menu

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

First Contact

"Do you mean you're really famous or youtube famous?"

"I can't remember if I didn't like his second book or his second wife."

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

"It's 6 o'clock. Do you know what's trending now?"

This cocktail menu had me sold on a pink squirrel right up until they got to the word "scurry."

Betty's Ex, Ray, Glasses.

The Crowd at Epsom Derby