Online Profiles Prints

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"What should I use for our scream name?"

'I see by Facebook that you hate burned toast.'

Profile: Please describe yourself in a few words - A man of many parts...

"That's his online avatar...the off-line version is over here."

"Well, you look just like your profile pick."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Everybody meets online these days."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'Your website or mine?'

cuPad

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Today's love

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.