Online Observer Prints

'You've heard of a couch potato? Well he's a mouse potato.'

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

'Let's stay in, have a quiet dinner, and creep our kids facebook pages.'

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

"It's 6 o'clock. Do you know what's trending now?"

"Your twitter account is phenomenal. Each tweet is limited to 140 characters, but it seems much longer."

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

"No need to sit down. I've already diagnosed you based on your social media posts."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"Are we there yet?"

Fear of news.

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

Domestic Spying Drones

'How dare they make these kind of suggestions?!'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'I suppose it was a blessing. Toward the end he was finding it very difficult to remain competitive.'

Fish tank filled with sardines.

'racism is the new black.'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"