Old-school Souls Pillows

"Not only am I not 'on line', I don't know what 'on line' means..."

"What old school? This is my life."

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

"Everybody meets online these days."

"Oh, he's so romantic."

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

How can you read that comic strip Blondie? Its about a kinder, simpler time. It's about ancient history. They do the same material over and over. Exactly. I can count on it. Not like your stupid Pearls and Get fuzzy. Oooh, look how angry and edgy they are. They're sooo clever! Your whole gig is being angry and edgy. Look, I'm setting Candorville on fire.

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

They're nice, but they lack the charm of an older home

"I've gone for a retro phone."

"Eugene is retro. He thinks everything was better in low-def and black and white."

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...

"They just don't make 'em like Doc Malone anymore!"

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

"Some are born old."

Workers constructing barcodes

'Grandpa, what was the most romantic thing you ever tweeted grandma?'

Church in the year 2035.

"Yes, dear, you shall return. I know."

'The only interesting thing your grandfather had was your grandmother.'

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

"I'll shoot you an email."

"I might be a caveman, but I love to give you chocolates on Valentines Day."

"When are you going to give in and buy a cell phone?"

"I said: 'Can you turn the jukebox down, I can't hear myself drink!"

"What will it be today, my dear? Pantaloons or loons in the pants?"

"The new year will begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, and it will feel strikingly similar to the old year."

'Yeek. I need to ditch this thing and quick!'

'This shirt was great back in high school and it's even better today!!!'