Old School Meets New School Pillows

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

Children's education

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

"Welcome."

The Final Chapter.

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

"It works as long as the teacher doesn't call on you."

The new boy was teased for being different.

"I can't believe it! -- My Mom spent $45 on this hairdo, and they still didn't put me in the gifted class!"

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

'Me, I'm home-schooled: Getting to and from school was taking too much of my time...'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

"Try to fit in, Dear."

How can you read that comic strip Blondie? Its about a kinder, simpler time. It's about ancient history. They do the same material over and over. Exactly. I can count on it. Not like your stupid Pearls and Get fuzzy. Oooh, look how angry and edgy they are. They're sooo clever! Your whole gig is being angry and edgy. Look, I'm setting Candorville on fire.

Boys in the cloakroom.

"You're not from around here...are you?"

"I'm impressed! Junior actually asked to use our old-fashioned dictionary!"

'That's Karl with a 'K' -- My parents named me after a radio station.'

"There's a rumor going around that the 90's are back."

'No darling, it's not a programme about choice of schools.'

"Baldo, are you translating for Marco?"

Noah directs animals aboard the ark featuring first class and tourist sections.

"When I was your age, we walked three miles through the snow to school, and didn't have laptops on our school supply list."

'I do not permit bullying or name calling in class. I will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

"The fact that you're writing your presentation in giant letters makes me think you still haven't figured out how to use a PowerPoint presentation."