Old Friend Finder Mugs

"Have you been expelled again?"

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Heavy meals on wheels

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Remote Control Duck

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"You're right, they are statins."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

Medication for the elderly

"We missed Fashion Week!"

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

Checking for signs of life.