Officer T-Shirts

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"And this is a crossword puzzle I'm working on."

'At the moment, it's only weakness is flypaper.' - (spyplane research dept.)

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

"A general! Goodness gracious, you don't look like a general!"

'Ballistic missile test successful! Private, what was the point of impact?' 'Duh, to make the missile explode?'

"I'm out of space – can you pin it on Pinterest?"

'I bet Private O'Brien won't misplace the company flag again, eh, Sarge?'

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'

'Of course I went AWOL, sir — you told me yourself that a soldier's first duty is to escape.'

Parachutists getting kicked off cliff by officer in charge

"In such momentous occasions, Martino Utz believed the Corporal's bantering was quite inappropriate."

Match striking military style

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'

'How did you ever get a good conduct medal?'

Veteran using medals for an eye test.

'I hate military time.'

"I need backup on 'D' Wing — they've built another den!"

'I know I said 'at ease'...but not to that extent.'

Dreadlock uniform

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

The Ekert Saga: '...I think you just need a hug, sir...'

"My ringtone is gunfire. It keeps the men on their toes."

"I got that one for being a good boy."

Huntsman talking to officer going abroad

"Hold on - I'll call in an air strike."

Modern William Tell Uses An Air-Strike To Hit Apple

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"I may not be home tonight, … I'm imbedded with the troops."

I was a big fish in a small pond, and then it dried up.

Colonel and Sergeant

Riflemen Drilling

A great bargain. - To be sold - the property of an officer going abroad

"No, you can't write your own vows!"