Office Vibe Optimizer T-Shirts

Hassle Free Zone: Let's keep it that way.

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"I appreciate your contribution to our drawdown of inventory, but isn't your office getting cramped?"

Team Work

'He's having so much fun doing his job that I'm going to have to start charging him an admission.'

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

Easter Bonnet

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

"Daddy needs to relax. He spent another long day at work extolling the virtues of his stand up desk."

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

'Office real estate' lifting weights

"The company simply must do something about the office space problem!"

'Hey, what's up? You're wearing your Friday face and it's only Tuesday.'

'Ms Brown, I think I need a bigger desk!'

"There was a lot of tension between his ergonomics and his feng shui."

Crowdsourcing the cubicle.

"I've just been spiffing up my image a bit."

"When the dust settles we're all going to be very dusty."

'When the poor dear retired, he found that he missed his little cubicle,'

'At least it's a dry heat'

'Let's try to improve our workstations even more.'

'First, the office walls went, then the ceilings and floors and now, well, here we are.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ok, girls...we need to get the Ekert back down to reasonable size before it destroys out house...so no more TV, radio, or any other negative energy...'

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

Things look better through rose-tinted glasses.

'Oh, you are such a BABY! Just how bad can a little paper cut be?'

'Our space utilization study revealed that you have two square feet more than is allotted, so we're going to keep the office recycling bin in here.'

'After considering the pros and cons of commuting, I've decided the only sane thing to do is live in my office.'

"Being an accountant gives him that extra aura of danger."

'We would like to see you put a little more worry into your work.'