Office Sages Mugs

"Never, never, never, never give up. Leave that to management."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Career opportunities

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

Career Choices

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Uh-Oh..."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

The rope to success.

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Between Offices