Office Pet Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Put this in the 'shredder.'"

"Pick me!"

Welcome to the Team

Canine Companion

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Lemonade Inc.

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"Did you get my tweet?"

"He's already getting attached to you."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Love Conquers All

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Home Business - Electric Stapler.

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Author's Bio-diversity.

Busy office.

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."