Office Love Skeptic Gifts

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'T.M.I.F.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'What's wrong now?'

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Does your mother know you keep a messy office?'

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

Office slaves.

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'