Office Gossip Lovers Pillows

"That's the craziest 1100110101001 thing I've ever heard! Pardon my binary."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

21st century water cooler conversations.

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"You calm down."

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

"Any further comments? Alright then, we're adjourned."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'I'm a fat cat in a dog-eat-dog world.'

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

'Whomever pulls the sword from the stone will lead this project.'

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

'You were fired from your last job when they caught you putting artificial sweetener in your coffee.'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

"We like to think of ourselves as a very progressive company. After all, a little self-delusion never hurt anyone."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

My husband doesn´t understand you.