Office Gossip Extraordinaire Pillows

Whistle blowers.

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

"For God's sake, just split the last donut!"

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

'I'm a fat cat in a dog-eat-dog world.'

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

My husband doesn´t understand you.

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

"I know this is just my humble opinion, but it's backed by the most comprehensive rumor, gossip and speculation this office can provide!"

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'Never mind that you could have bought Microsoft years ago - I could have married Bill Gates,'

'Botox.'

'Forget about me - what can you tell me about the new CEO coming on board?'

"The defibrillators are used when someone is either having a heart attack or trying to leave early."

"So who else is gonna be there?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"There's a rumour that someone may be resigning today."

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

Henry couldn't help but have doubts about the future of the company.

A big announcement is coming at work.

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

At Gossips Anonymous...

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

"You'll fit right in. You have a great sense of rumor."

"I hope your day is going bad."

"Gossiping about work at happy hour is not considered overtime."