Office Etiquette Enthusiast T-Shirts

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

Tuesday Afternoon at the Osaka No-Tell Motel

"Can I help you?"

"Dress down day was yesterday!"

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

Being annoying still isn't a crime.

'Mr. Conway came here without an appointment, didn't you, Mr. Conway?'

Did you take the last cup and not make another pot?

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"I hit reply all too many times."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Let's shake on it.

"I don't mind getting email from you, Stevens. But don't ever send me another smiley-face emoji."

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

"Sorry, but I didn't switch from unsanitary handshakes to fist bumps just to start group hugging!"

Business relationships are tricky. While a handshake may not always seem enough, a hug is always too much.

"Actually write thank-you notes to my best customers with a pen and paper? But I wouldn't have spell check!"

Do you want to make sure you e-mails don't get ignored.

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

"I'll have my people call your people."

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

How Dogs Identify Themselves in Upscale Neighborhoods.

'I told you never to Facebook, Bebo, Hotmail, Yahoo, MSN or phone me at work...'

"He came out from behind his desk. We got 'em."

A guest departing a party.