Office Competitor T-Shirts

Linda sets a pick, allowing Dave a clear path to the last doughnut.

"And yet that's exactly what I'd like to be doing."

Company Performance - Bonus Scheme

The Victors

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

Bureau of the Damned

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

Run, Mike, Run!

'Not my short list, O'Neil! You're on my other list!

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

Painter's Duel.

Fight on the top

"No, Dad. All this belongs to me right now. I acquired it in a hostile takeover."

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

Loser's Podium.

"Ladies and gentlemen, start your companies!"

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

Star Executive

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

'Make no mistake Wetherall, it's a jungle out there.'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

"Actually, there is such a thing as a stupid question, and you've just asked it."

Once again, Daisy had won the 'Employee of the Month' award...'

"It would help if you brown-nosed a little more."

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"Haaaaah. . . . Back to the office. Better put on my happy face. . ."

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'