Office Comic Connoisseur Pillows

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'Yes, can I help you?'

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

Malcolm Sargent

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

"Quicksand in a modern office building? Don't be silly."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Corporate Greed.