Occasional Volunteer Gifts

"I work for a defense company designing monstrous ways to kill people, but one afternoon a year, I volunteer at a soup kitchen to balance the scales."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

Interning in D.C. Volunteering in Seattle. Trekking in Nepal. Lucky ducks! I'm stuck here working 2 jobs! Wow! You're getting paid?!! Who knew? Employment is this summer's must-have status symbol. Some parents envy you.

Please Give

Bake Sale! To benefit our town animal shelter

'We're a voluntary organisation John, they're not meant to pay for it.'

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

'They're all hoping Kate Middleton will help them to cross the road.'

"But your room does have a sea view, it's 43 miles over there behind the power station."

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

Professional Fund Riasers

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

Charity mugger

It's "Wolverines Without Borders" ... They want you to perform classic Fusco material in developing countries where people don't have access to the comics.

"Oh, hello darling..."

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

"So nice of you to offer to display our posters" "I didn't. My pastor made me"

"Seems another philanthropist has beaten us here."

Cheese Call Center

'So, for the next three months while your brain is healing, one of our neurology volunteers, Karl, will be helping you think.'

'I can't believe you cooked this all by yourself...you must have had an accomplice!'

'Yup! Lots to give, not much to lose!'

Thanks for the lift to the flower show. I support your volunteer efforts. They're lucky to have someone with your gardening experience. Hardly! Information. The ladies room is to the left, funnel cakes to the right.

Charity fundraiser

We can offer volunteers a range of experiences including exhaustion,emotional overload,lack of support and stark terror.

"My parents will come to church again if you switch to rose."

The Brook-Green Volunteer Pt. 1

The Brook-Green Volunteer Pt. 5