Obsession Humorist T-Shirts

"We do have a wonderful art collection, but it has taken over somewhat: We either need to have a bower or get professional help..."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Stand-up Romcom

Trappist Monk Discord

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

HELLth Food Sprouts

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. IX

Some scents are nonsense.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

Clone Factory

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Inactivists"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Pokemon Get Lost

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

Prison Romance.

"As I understand, we stop refugees making dangerous journeys to a safe countey and offer them safe passage to a dangerous one..."

Trump Tariffs

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

Vocabulary Glossary for Libya