Observations Gifts

"I have a comment but nowhere to send it."

I'd like to make an observation. No way. Nope. Whenever people say they have an observation it means they're going to criticize. I ma not. I'm just observing that you're planning to buy a house. Yeah. And I'm also observing that makes you a chump. Oooh.

Look at that big fat man!

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Painting clouds

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Butterflies

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Vegetarian Birds

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Tiny Visions

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Exciting potato bugs.

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'Break glass in case of tangled antlers.'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

NHS/Private Eye Care.

Welcome to Landworld.

"I think he just ashed on me."

The doctor says if it doesn't come out soon, she'll have to induce.

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

"Of course I attend the meetings but I'm more of a lurker,"

"Oh, honey, look! A chestnut-sided warbler doing pull-ups!"