Obedience Class Dropout T-Shirts

Dog Training.

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Bad dog."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Zombie pet tricks.

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

"Not until you fetch the other one."

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Text!"

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'