Nursing School Acceptance Mugs

"Whose turn is it to be the patient?"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

The MBA Draft

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Young Doctor, Young Nurse, Young Undertaker

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

Scenes we'd most like to see...

Pinara fund

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Cover Design for Cambridge ABC (Student Magazine)

'Cat Lit. You?'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."