Nursery Novice Mugs

"They look so young and helpless."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"First time pruning?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

Coping with a strong-willed child

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

Early Learning Today

Batman's Baby

"Do you smell something?"

"Should we keep the receipt in case of returns."

Rocking Horse

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"Oh he also likes Wagner's 'Flight Of The Valkyries' played whenever he enters a room."

Brad Pitt.

"I'll give you 15 minutes, no biting."

"I realise that it shows a lack of maturity .. But I like baby talk."

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

Babies

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

Fashion Nursery School

"Triple whammy."

Clown baby.

'My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off.'

Fox Hunting

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'